The GX Mansion!
by Chaotic Blades
Summary: Co-written by Angelduelist153. The entire GX cast is locked away in a huge mansion that they are unable to escape from and when I say entire, I mean entire. OOCness, various onesided pairings. Rated for swearing and themes.
1. Chapter 1

Here is a masterpiece, co written by me and Angelduelist153

Here is a masterpiece, co written by me and **Angelduelist153**! We present the fruit of our PMs, the insanity that you can only find when locked in a large house, unable to get away from those kids at school that you just need your space from! We present to you, The GX Mansion!!

**WARNING: The story contains the original E.J. Not the IC version of **_**Chosen One, Jaden Yuki**_** but the actual E.J. Meaning expect extreme OOCness, maybe mild racism, and an extreme obsession with fishing.**

Btw, there will be tons of OOCness. Keeping that in mind, there is also a plot, it'll just take a while to get there.

-- Start Chapter! --

E.J. opened his eyes, looked around his room, and sighed. It was the same every day- he'd go to bed hoping that it would turn out to be some kind of strange dream but every morning he would wake up to be in the same room. Of the same house. Of the same hell. For this was:

**THE GX MANSION!!**

Now what is the GX Mansion, you ask, and why is E.J. so annoyed about it? It is a large mansion (duh) filled top to bottom with all the GX cast members, from Light!Chazz to Nightshroud!Atticus. Everyone just woke up in it one day and has yet to discover a way out. Still, at least E.J. could go fishing whenever he wanted! Speaking of fishing, E.J. grabbed his pole, threw on his clothes and headed down to the designated fishing area (that appeared to be an exact replica of his usual fishing spot down by the rocks.)

"Yo E.J., sup?" asked an annoying little voice. E.J. groaned. This was another reason why he hated the mansion so much!

"…," he grunted. He continued towards his destination, hoping she would leave him alone. His prayers remained unanswered however.

"So, good mood, bad mood, what?" she continued.

"Listen Chaotic Blades, I don't know what it is you are trying to accomplish but whatever it is, it is a waste of time!" he muttered.

"Don't know what I'm trying to accomplish?" she gasped in fake shock," Why E.J, I'm merely trying to get you interested in being non-emo! See all the benefits?" She pointed to where various non-emo members of the cast were slaving away over various chores. "Um, okay. Not the best example. Gah, screw it! Talking to you is giving me a headache! Go be emo in a corner somewhere!" she grumped before stomping off. E.J. smiled an emo smile (do they even smile…? O.O) and wandered off to fish.

-- Three Hours Later --

"Can we duel now?" asked Jaden excitedly.

"No," growled E.J.

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"NO!"

"WHHHHYYYYYYY??" Jaden complained. Yes, being stuck in the mansion for so long was affecting even Jaden and turning him OOC.

"Because I don't want to. Now go away."

"FINE," he said in a bratty voice, "I'll go see if Chazz wants to duel or something." As he walked away he kicked a rock into the still water of the fishing area. It landed with a loud plop.

"Stop scaring the freaking fish!!" E.J. roared wildly.

" Now, now...that wasn't a very ADULT thing to say," Angelduelist153 said with a grin as she walked over. E.J. freaking out was the primary source of entertainment in the mansion.

"I like fish! :D" announced Jaden.

"...O.o" commented E.J. as Angel grinned. "…Get out of here."

"Huh? But why?" asked Jaden.

"JUST GET OUT!!" he screamed, clutching his pounding head.

"See, this wouldn't be a problem if you'd stop being emo! Don't worry, you won't be emo for long! I WILL save you, Jaden!" Angel grinned once again and glomped him.

" I don't need to be saved...hey, I would've caught that if you hadn't glomped me! Get lost," he ordered.

"You hurt my heart!" Angel sobbed.

"Oh, no! You have to fix it!" exclaimed Jaden.

"No. I'm fishing." Yubel popped up.

"I love you, Jaden! :3 Even if you are emo! Come play with me!" she cried.

"I'm busy." Yubel screamed in shock from the callous thing her E.J. had dared to say to her.

"I'm...scared...," whispered Jaden, fearfully clinging to Angel.

"O.o" Honest and Haou said in unison.

"Ugh, whatever! I can't get anything accomplished here! C'mon Honest. Let's just go," muttered E.J. They walked off holding hands.

"You know, ever since he and Honest started going out, he hasn't had time for me," stated Jaden sadly.

"He had time for you before?" asked Angel.

"Well… no. But at least he didn't ignore me as much. He hasn't been paying attention to you either, has he Yubel?"

"Barely any. It's always 'Honest this' and 'Honest that' and 'can you help my pretty-pretty girlfriend Honest get prettier for our date?'" Yubel complained in envy, "'Yubel, go help Honest' or 'Yubel, Honest doesn't feel at home' and I'M the one who has to fix things!" (1)

"Even I get bothered to help Honest," said Jaden.

"E.J. sometimes tells me to carry Honest's laundry to the washing room for him," agreed Angel, "Let his girlfriend carry his own laundry!" They all nodded angrily and made a pact: Honest was going down!

-- In Chazz's Room --

"So, you sometimes feel like everything that's ever happened in the world is your fault?" Chazz asked boredly. _How did I get stuck doing this?_

"Yes, it's true," Sartorious agreed, clasping his hands, "As you know, I can see the future. So I know of so many things that are to come, yet I never do anything about it! And then, when the Light of Destruction came…." He bit his lip.

"Like Jaden said, if it hadn't been you it would've been someone else. The Light-"Chazz was cut off mid-lecture by an insane cackle coming from the room overhead.

"One as tainted by the darkness as you does not deserve to speak of the Light! Its everlasting holiness is beyond you mortals comprehension! Its glory is an ever-flowing magnificence that only one who has treaded the path of-"

"**SHUT UP!!"** yelled Chazz. The voice grew silent again. "Sartorious, can't you do anything about yourself? The version upstairs rants endlessly (even my earplugs can't block it all out) and you're getting counseling from ME of all people! Even I realize that I need counseling! So why choose me?!"

"Because you're the only one who'll listen!" cried Sartorious.

"What about Jaden?"

"Ever since E.J. started going out with Honest he hasn't been the same! He keeps trying to prove that they should break up!"

"Who can blame him? Honest is a real bitch!" complained Chazz, "He never does any work! And when we try to get him to do something, E.J. appears magically out of nowhere and starts going on about how 'delicate roses such as Honest cannot be expected to do such menial chores'!" The two looked at each other and made their own pact: send Honest to the exact same place where Adrian lived (no, not the stars. It will be revealed soon enough but Adrian is alive and well… enough.)

-- End Chapter --

(1) Yes, I know Honest is a guy. It's a joke… that I'm not really sure how it came about.


	2. Honest Must CENSORED

Yeah, I'm giving up on my other fics for now

Yeah, I'm giving up on my other fics for now. This is just so much easier to write! (Plus sequels are pure evil, especially when I have to keep two different storylines from two different realities straight.) Though I have realized why I've been having so much trouble with OY:EJS. It's a serious fic, my worst enemy! I can't write 'em!

We don't own GX. If we did, it would probably be a better, more loyal dub… and Adrian would be made fun of more… like I said, it would be better.

-- Start Chapter! --

"Calling the meeting to order!" declared Yubel, "Angelduelist153!"

"Here!"

"Haou!"

"Use your eyes. Of course I'm here."

"Jaden!" A snore. "Jaden!" Another snore. "JADEN!!"

"Huh, wait, what?!" he exclaimed as he awoke. Yubel tapped her foot impatiently.

"Hello, we're starting the meeting now! So, does anyone have any suggestions? It doesn't matter how crazy they are, what matters is if they can bring Honest down!" she cried dramatically. Jaden raised his hand. "Yes Jaden?"

"What if we snuck into his room and-" Yubel cut him off.

"Wouldn't work, he and E.J. sleep in the same room," she grumbled.

"And you know this… how?" asked Angel, almost afraid of the answer.

"Please, you know how much of a stalker she is. Yubel probably just snuck into their room to have one of her secret nightly snuggles," Haou snorted.

"I wasn't doing that!" she yelled back, "For your information, I was taking pic- I mean, making sure he was safe. That is my job after all. To make sure he remains safe."

"Safe from what, getting laid by someone other than you?"

"HAOU!" screeched Angel and Yubel.

"What does it mean to get laid?" asked Jaden, giving off an aura of innocence that would melt through even Hell Kaiser's frozen heart. His eyes grew large and sparkly as he cocked his head cutely to the side.

"Nothing, nothing at all. Don't worry about it," stuttered Angel hastily.

"If you want I could show you," suggested Yubel.

"ENOUGH!" Haou thundered, "Jaden, quit being clueless. Angel, quit shielding him from the truth. Yubel, stop trying to molest my flip side! Are we in an evil meeting or not?!"

"Actually, since we're trying to_ save_ E.J…," Jaden trailed off.

"AAGHHHH!!" bellowed Haou. Needless to say, nothing was accomplished this meeting.

-- Sartorious, Sartorious, and Chazz --

"So remind me again why _he's_ here?" sighed Chazz, pointing at Light!Sartorious (from now on just known as Saiou.)

"Well, since we're aiming to defeat Honest once and for all, I had the thought that we could use his assistance! Coming up with evil plans should be much easier with a villain in our midst," explained Sartorious. Saiou chuckled to himself creepily, causing the others to sweatdrop.

"A-anyways," continued Chazz, "We know that E.J. sleeps in the same room as, but not with, Honest." He began to pace back and force. "E.J. spends most of his time fishing. Honest doesn't exactly enjoy fishing so if we ever strike it should be then. Anyone have any suggestions?"

"What if we were to-" Sartorious started before Saiou interrupted.

"It would be a simple matter to defeat Honest!" cackled Saiou (bringing even more freaked out looks to the other's faces than there was before), "All we would have to do is drown out the ever-present darkness consuming his soul with The Light! We would destroy the evil that transpires-"

"Any plans that _don't_ involve brainwashing him? Besides, how would we pull that off anyway? The satellite was destroyed and it's not like you have the power to do it anymore," sneered Chazz, impatiently tapping his foot.

"The Light always has power! It can reach beyond the world! The universe! It exists for all eternity! It-"

"Well, if we were to perhaps wait for him to enter a room alone and then lock the door behind him, we might stand a chance," commented Sartorious.

"Stop interrupting me!" Saiou screamed, sounding rather much like dub-verse Supreme King.

"That plan has potential," Chazz agreed. They shook on it and walked off to make preparations, completely ignoring the angry physic they were leaving behind.

-- E.J. and Honest --

"Honey, are you sure?" asked E.J. worriedly. He held both of Honest's hands tightly. They gazed into each others eyes, the sun visibly setting through the window of their bedroom.

"Yes, love. I'm ready for this," Honest breathed, moving closer to pull E.J. into a needy embrace, "I'd like to try spending the night alone. No you. No security blanket. Not even a nightlight."

"You're so brave," E.J. murmured, brushing hair back from his face. They kissed and said their good nights. E.J. left the room silently and immediately made a beeline for Yubel. "Yubel!" he called softly. She looked up.

"What is it?" she replied. _Finally, he's paying attention to me and only me again!_ Her inward cheerleader was pulling off all new moves.

"Please, can you do me a favor?"

"Anything," she answered. She could see E.J. leaning in, his lips begging. His eyes were filled with passion and lust. Breathing heavily (who knew she had that effect on him?) and craning his neck invitingly. Soon he would be all hers! Honest would be out of the picture!

"This is Honest's first time sleeping without me in the room. Can you please watch over him for me? I know he's a big boy but I worry about my girlfriend, you know?" was his request. Had he not been watching her so intently she would've done an anime fall. However, since she had already agreed she was stuck.

"O-of course," she said through gritted teeth. E.J. smiled faintly, thanked her, and went off to bed. The minute he was out of earshot however (and by out of earshot I mean even his heightened senses couldn't pick up on it)-

"DAMN YOU HONEST!!"

-- Ekkou/Echo/Ekou/however-you-spell-her-name --

Ekkou/Echo/Ekou/however-you-spell-her-name looked up from washing pans. The Spanish chef dude from season 2 who was the leader of the Ra dorm had finally left the kitchen. She quickly grabbed a tray of gourmet food and dumped it down the shaft that led to the basement, where usually only scraps went. The sounds of a wild beast tearing it to shreds came forth. She smirked and went back to cleaning. _Soon, soon you'll be free! _

-- Yubel and Haou --

"Guys, there's been a change of plans!" she exclaimed excitedly, "E.J. is sleeping in his own room tonight! We can strike at Honest directly now!" Haou crossed his arms across his chest.

"And you know this how?" he prompted. Yubel pouted jealously.

"You know how. 'ooOOOOhh, Yubel, please look after my pretty-pretty girlfriend! It's his first night sleeping on his own!'" she said mockingly.

"You do realize that means he'll blame you for anything that happens to Honest," he stated bluntly.

"He will at first, but soon he'll realize that everything I've done, I've done for him! As long as I can get Honest out of the way he'll be able to realize that I'm the only one who can truly love him! And when that time comes he'll be ready to accept my love. These dalliances with Honest are merely a phase in the face of my eternal love!" she declared. She crumpled a piece of paper in her claw, "Jaaaddeeennnnnn. Soon you'll be all mine. Hehehehehe."

"You're insane."

"You're just jealous because Jaden loves me more!" snapped Yubel. The faintest hint of a blush appeared on his face before fading away into his anger.

"Why would I want that pitiful mortal? As long as the power of darkness exists by my side, I don't need anyone! Love is nonexistent, it's just an illusion that clouds your eyes and gets in your way! It's-"

"How dare you?!" she shrieked. Yep, nothing getting accomplished here.

-- That Night --

Honest could hear the sound of monsters roaring. He turned on his side, trying to ignore them. The boogieman in the closet was calling to him. It wanted him dead! Everywhere he looked, shadows in the room turned into ax murderers and demons and ghosts. _Damn, how could I forget that I'm afraid of the dark? Jaden, please come back…. I'm scared…._ A loud clumping noise came from across the room.

"W-who's there?" he called shakily. A creepy giggle was the only reply.

"Y-Yubel? Is- is that y-you? St-stop scaring m-me…."

"You're absolutely right," she agreed, "Why bother scaring you when I can just kil-"

"CENSOR!" yelled Honest as loud as possible, "You meant to say 'send you to the stars'." That last part was said with a smug look on his face. Yubel gasped and stepped back. Her eyes widened so far she thought they would pop out of their sockets.

"N-no… it can't be!" she cried, "You're not a member of the 4C's?!" (1)

"That's right!" laughed Honest evilly, "I am an _elite_ member of the **4**Kids **C**haracter **C**ensoring **C**rew! I have the ability to censor everything about you! All I have to do is point and you'll lose all your defining character traits! Feel the might of 4Kids! MWAAHAHAHHAHAHHahHAHHhAhHAHhAHhAhAhahA!" Yubel started choking as she felt herself getting edited of everything that made her herself. Suddenly she felt intense love for everything, including Jesse, rainbows, butterflies, Adrian (she nearly vomited at that one), Exodia, friendship, harems, and Kaiba Corp.

"No… no… Haou… help me!" she begged as she felt her personality leave as well. Yubel was only two feet tall now, the intense editing forming a puddle at her feet. She screamed as her love for Jaden was turned into a desire for revenge.

"Edited by 4Kids?! Even I'm not that evil!" Haou realized in shock. He jumped into action to take down someone more evil than he (we can't have that now can we?) He activated his buzz sa- er, I mean, duel disk. "Prepare to face the darkness!" he declared. Honest turned towards him and smirked.

"Well now, looks like you've already begun to be edited," he laughed. Haou gasped at the realization. He understood now: he must stop being obsessed with darkness! He must only be obsessed with power and living! In the distraction, Chazz and Sartorious snuck in and prepared to kidnap Honest. When-

"WHAT THE CENSORED IS GOING ON HERE YOU CENSORED CENSORED CENSORS!" yelled E.J. He stood in the doorway glowering. Everyone shuffled their feet like guilty children (which technically they were) and mumbled excuses. E.J's expression darkened. He crossed the room and sat next to Honest.

"I'll never leave your side ever again, love," he said in a sappy, cliché way. He and Honest started embracing and kissing. The others watched for a moment, turned, and left the room all in sync.

-- End Chapter --

Originally this was going to be 4C.C.C. but then I realized how lame that looked. I wanted to keep the 4 so I just abbreviated it to 4CCC when I realized that I could make fun of 5D's by calling it 4C's.

...Yeah. Went a little crazy. Oh well. R&R, folks! Hope you enjoy! Oh yeah, and if anyone wants to suggest/offer a villain, I could probably use one. I have two so far but I can only go so far with them.


	3. EJ Loses it Again

"Please, just let me go

Well, I got some more villains! Suggestions for new evil people were by **QueenDeathScythe** and **x-Miracle-Flipper-x**. Hope it works out!

"Talking"

_Thinking_

Singing

We don't own GX or Twizzlers. If we did do you really think we'd do this to these poor people? (Well, I would… but that's just me.)

-- Start Chapter! --

"Please, just let me go!" begged Jaden. Now for those of you who were wondering where he was last chapter when everyone was storming Honest's room, he had been kidnapped by Yubel!Jesse and was currently chained to a chair. Who from this point on is called Jebel. Why did he want to capture Jaden? Let's find out.

"What do you even want from me?" Jaden cried, on the verge of tears. Jebel smirked, a lustful gleam in his eye. He licked his lips and growled seductively as he approached the freaked-out Jaden. He leaned over and whispered huskily into Jaden's ear "You."

"You want me from me?" Jaden repeated cluelessly. He turned to Jebel, innocence leaking from every pore. Jebel just laughed and grabbed Jaden's chin, pulling it in closer to him. Their lips were about to touch (poor Jaden was scared out of his mind… even more so than he usually is in these situations) when suddenly-

"CENSORED!" screamed Honest, bursting through the wall, "BY ORDER OF 4C'S ALL HINTS OF ADULT THEMES MUST BE EXORCISED!" He pointed his censoring finger of doom at the evil un-censored teen and a ray of light shot out. It took the form of a rainbow wing. Sparkles shot off and wherever they landed, flowers grew. Every scream from Jebel's mouth was turned into butterflies that sang songs of friendship and love. A pink mist flooded the room.

"Hey, leave him alone!" yelled Jaden. The chains around him had been changed to Twizzlers so he was able to rip them free. "What gives you the right to do this to him?! Would YOU want to be censored? Huh?"

"Of course not," sobbed Honest, beginning his obligatory villain sob story, "See, when I was a little kid, my rat Fluffy McKingston De Formio Raulson Jackety-Jack Sammy Babe died. Since then I've had no self-confidence because right before he died he told me that his cousin twice removed's girlfriend's toad's daughter-in-law's pet flea thought I was a pathetic excuse for a living thing! So I-"

"What has that got to do with anything?" he asked.

"I was getting there!" Honest roared back, "ANYWAYS, I always tried to prove it wrong, that I was a perfectly good living thing-"

"Why do you keep calling yourself a thing?" interrupted Jaden. Honest turned and glared at him before continuing on.

"On my quest to prove my worth, I happened upon an old fortune teller named Sartorious-"

"But he's not all _that _old," he objected.

"WOULD YOU BE QUIET AND LET ME FINISH MY FREAKIN' SOB STORY?!"

"Well okay, but it doesn't make much sense. Sartorious is actually pretty young and if this happened when you were a kid, was he even-"

"AN OLD FORTUNE TELLER NAMED SARTORIOUS, OKAY?!" Honest shouted into Jaden's face, the other not so much as blinking. "As I was saying, the old fortune teller told me that it was my destiny to become the mightiest rat-breeder on the face of the Earth! But unfortunately he couldn't predict what would happen next. A horrible war occurred and after seeing so many people's deaths be censored by 4Kids I realized what I must do. If I was to escape that fate, I must join forces with 4Kids! And thus I became a member of 4C's!" he declared. Lightning struck dramatically as he posed, tears flowing from his eyes, in the throes of tragic memory.

Jaden blinked. "So… you agreed to help edit other characters instead of just avoiding being edited yourself? That doesn't make mush sen-"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! It's a sob story, it's supposed to not have much motivation-wise. That's what makes them so great! You can get away with any number of despicable acts so long as you have a sob story!" He waited for the applause his logic deserved. He got none. Looking around he discovered that both Jaden and Jebel had run off in the middle of his rant. Sniffing sadly at their foolishness for not seeing/accepting the power of 4Kids, he packed up all his rainbows, butterflies, flowers, mist, and Twizzlers. Some people just didn't know what was good for them.

-- E.J. --

"Hey E.J?" began Jaden. E.J. groaned and rolled his eyes. When would this kid learn to stop bugging him?

"What?" he growled out.

"Can you play with me?" he asked with a grin on his face.

"…" At this point E.J. wasn't even willing to reply.

"It'll be lots of fun! We can duel and then we can, uh…, duel again and afterwards we can… duel, I guess. So it'll be lots of fun! Pleeeeaaaaassssssseeeeeeeee?" he begged. E.J. got up and walked towards Jaden, who hopped up and down, hoping that his request would be fulfilled. Who found himself knocked to the ground with E.J. walking away.

-- Later --

"**E.J!!**" bellowed Chaotic Blades (btw, I've got an extremely loud yell.) E.J. rolled his eyes yet again and walked over to her. "You forgot to clean the bathroom on the West-Northwest Wing! _Again_! That's your only chore so quit forgetting and get back to work!"

E.J. narrowed his eyes. Only if you looked closely would you be able to see the violent aura now surrounding him. With a roar he leapt at CB, knocking her to the ground and then running away, fishing rod waving in the air.

"Oh great. This again," muttered CB, who remembered pressing business she had with… the chef-dude, that's it. Yes, she had to go talk to him. However much fun it would've been to watch E.J. evolve into his ultimate form… again. For about the 50th time since they arrived here.

-- Later then Later --

E.J. sat down against a wall and panted from all the running he had done to escape various friends who were being way too friendly (an example being Jim, the poor guy who was only trying to tell E.J. that the milk in his fridge had expired three months ago.) He ran his fingers through his hair. _I wish Honest were here._

"Hey E.J! What's up!" exclaimed the perky voice of Jaden Yuki. E.J. could've sworn he heard a tooth crack, he was grinding them so hard.

"Don't… you have anything… better to do?" he said through clenched teeth.

"Well… we could be dueling!" Seeing the expression on E.J's face he quickly thought up something else. "Or I could… sing! Do you believe in magic"

"Stop that nonsense!" demanded E.J. Angel came out from behind Jaden.

"Who made you king of the world? We don't have to do what you say," she said proudly.

"CENSORED," he muttered, "I was only trying to help..."

"Why are you so angry all the time? Smile! " Jaden suggested, he himself grinning.

"No. There is no point in smiling," E.J. stated firmly.

"Um...well, have fun with that," Angel wished him.

"Aw, c'mon...," whined Jaden, fingering his deck.

"Jaden, you might not want to provoke him," she warned. Jaden blinked.

"Why not?"

"He'll become...the Ultimate Mega-Depressed Angry Mean Vicious Sorrowful  
Emo Duelist of Doom!" Angel announced grandly, waving her arms in the arm. Thunder crashed loudly in the background but that was probably a coincidence. Maybe Hamon was throwing a hissy fit again. Or maybe Chazz was posing.

"That has got to be the most childish thing you've said today," growled E.J, the immaturity not only grinding on his nerves but also feeding into his transformation. Her only reply was a grin of her own.

He grumbled, "I'm going fishing." He picked up his gear and started walking slowly back to the rocks.

"That's his version of cutting," Angel whispered to Jaden, both of them giggling.

-- Even Later than Later --

"I've had it with this hell hole!" E.J. declared, not even bothering to censor himself, "I'm leaving, FOR GOOD." He snuck into CB's room, where just that day he'd found an escape route! He crawled down into it, congratulating himself on his cleverness. When-

"Hey babe," came a husky voice from the shadows, "You wanna have some 'fun'?" With horror E.J. stared into the face of none other than Adrian Gecko, the filthy lizard man! The escape route had been fake, it had lead to the basement!

-- Jebel --

"My lord, I failed," reported Jebel to a shadowy figure on a throne. The figure drummed his fingers slowly against the arm of the chair.

"I see. What's the status of Jaden Yuki?"

"It was going fine, he was getting beautifully scared, until Honest appeared," Jebel spat, "THEN he went into justice-mode and yelled at him for attempting to censor me. Honest is becoming a problem sir."

"Indeed. Steps should be taken to rid us of this threat, however minor it may be," announced the figure, stepping out of the shadows. "Whatever we have to do, we must get Jaden on _our_ side," said Syrus, removing the hood covering his face.

"But how are we supposed to do that?" asked Axel, "He's always surrounded. There are no openings to get at him!"

"Oh please, _I_ found an opening. You're just jealous because you can't do the same," sneered Jebel.

"If that's the case they why couldn't you bring him back? Honest stopped you!" Axel pointed out.

"Enough!" boomed Syrus, "Your little power struggle means nothing to our plans! If you two can't cease this behavior, then I'll eliminate you and get new servants! How would _that_ be?!" Each murmured their apologies.

"Sir, if I may ask, how are we to get past these defenses and get to the prize?" Axel asked.

"All we need is one very important thing. Bait," Syrus declared, "Blair!"

"Yes sir?" Blair ran forward, ready to do her part.

"Fetch me my tea and make sure it doesn't get cold!" he told the maid. Her face fell as she realized that she wouldn't be trusted with an important mission.

"Jebel! Axel! You know who to fetch."

"Yes sir! Get Jesse Andersen!" they replied in unison.

-- End Chapter --

Yeah, I know I'm bad at cliffhangers. Well, least I tried. And I'm not gonna include people's accents unless they're something really obvious that's easy to read, like Jim's. If I included my accent about half the people here wouldn't understand what I was saying and the other half would be trying to hunt me down so they could force me to learn to speak my language properly. Hope everyone enjoyed and I am trying (and so far failing) to be less lazy!


	4. The Evil Plans of Little Syrus

Episode 147… SO… TOTALLY… WORTH THE WAIT…. It was so awesome! 4Kids did a good job (gaspeth!) And Jebel… S/he is just awesome!

We don't own GX. Wish we did, but we don't. –eyes change into Gollum's- It's my preeeeciiiioouuusss….

-- Start Chapter! --

Jesse looked over his shoulder nervously. For some reason, it almost felt like someone had been watching him for the past few days. Every now and then he would hear a mischievous giggle (probably Yubel, she enjoyed scaring him even more than everyone else enjoyed watching E.J. freak out) and there was this weird monster spirit that kept following him around but it was probably nothing serious. Now if only he could get that nagging feeling out of his head, he could finally relax after being on dusting duty (it seemed that part of the magic that kept everyone from leaving the mansion also created re-spawning dust.)

_**Hehehe….**_

He peeked around. Nothing. With a sigh Jesse plopped down into a chair. "My mind must be playing tricks on me," he remarked idly.

_**Hahaha… hehe….**_ He of course said this without noticing the pair of demonic hands reaching out to grab him by the neck. Just before they made contact though, he got up and ran off towards the kitchen, where the smell of coffee cake was wafting out.

_**Grrr… dammit! Axel, why did you let him go?!**_

_Hey, I thought you wanted it to be _your _job to fetch him, Jebel. I was just following orders and staying out of your way._

…_**Asshole.**_

-- E.J. and Adrian --

E.J. held his breath in terror. The monstrous beast of the basement loomed over him, exhaling its gruesome breath all over him. The Beast smirked and whispered, just loud enough to be heard, "I would make a much better girlfriend than that wuss Honest would, wouldn't I?"

"N-no…. You could never hope to measure up to my beloved Honest! So long as breath remains in my body and blood is left in my veins, I shall not-" His mouth was covered by the calloused hand of Adrian.

"You talk too much, _dear_," he said in a voice so sweet, it would make 4Kids, Yubel, sugar, Tinkerbell, Nightshroud, and Hell Kaiser all shudder.

--With 4Kids, Yubel, sugar, Tinkerbell, Nightshroud, and Hell Kaiser --

They all shuddered simultaneously.

"What… is this devilry?" asked Nightshroud in fear.

"?!" exclaimed 4Kids, "You said 'devilry'!" They pointed their censoring finger of d00m and POOF! he was overwhelmed with the urge to clean the entire mansion whilst singing Disney love songs.

"More importantly, what just happened?" wondered Yubel. She quivered in fear, sensing something evil beyond imagination. The cup of sugar they were using for tea shook so hard it fell to the floor and shattered into a million pieces, may they cut the feet of the evil one who caused this fear!

"Whatever it was, it can't be good," said Hell Kaiser, Tinkerbell nodding in agreement. _Just great, _he thought,_ Now I have another rival for who is the most bad-ass out there. It's bad enough that Haou is trying to take my crown but for some other fool to make an attempt as well?!_

There was no way this would end well.

-- Back with E.J. --

Adrian let out a purr from the back of his throat. E.J. was pressed up against the wall, ready to be even more scarred for life than he already was. The fearsome Baka-san licked his earlobe and began to get all touchy-feely (AN: I'm not going into details, the fact that Adrian is in this scene at all is making me wanna puke.) It was then that-

"What the hell is going on here?!" demanded CB, a dangerous storm cloud forming around her head, "E.J! What were you doing in my room?! If you were stealing my bras to give as presents to Honest again, I swear I'll-" She cut herself off when she noticed Adrian.

"You don't understand! I was just trying to escape and-"

"E.J! You know that the basement is off limits! If Baka-san gets out, the fate of the mansion could be in jeopardy!" she declared dramatically, throwing her arm out and accidentally knocking over a vase.

"I didn't realize it lead to the basement!" cried E.J. as Adrian began to start molesting him again. CB rolled her eyes, grabbed his ear, and dragged him out of the basement whilst slamming the door in Adrian's face.

It's safe to say that E.J. is grounded for the month.

-- Jesse --

"All righty now, whoever y'all are, come on out now! No more playing around!" Jesse shouted. The silent, empty hallway seemed to mock him. He let out a frustrated scream.

"**I GET IT NOW!"** he shouted wildly, ignoring surprised yells from the occupants of other rooms, **"YOU FANGIRLS ARE BEHIND THIS, AREN'T YOU?!" **

_FANGIRL?! Why that little- hey wait. Do I count as I guy or a girl? I mean, I'm a girl but I'm controlling the body of a guy…._

_**You need to focus. The objective here is to take Jesse down. Now you need to calm down and help me grab him while he's distracted!**_

_I get it now, you LIKE being considered one of his fangirls don't you?_

…_**I hate you.**_

_Haha, Axel is Jesse's girl-friend!_

_**AM. NOT!**_

"Uh, what exactly is going on here Houss?" asked Jesse, pushing aside the curtains they were hiding behind. (1)

"Now's our chance! Get him!" ordered Axel. They jumped the poor teen and dragged him off for their evil purposes.

-- Syrus, Jebel, and Axel --

"Everything is going smoothly. Soon our plans shall reach completion. However, one matter remains to be settled," Syrus stated worriedly.

"One matter? What would that be sir?" asked Jebel.

"How exactly shall we use our bait? We need to find the perfect way to use him to drag Jaden in!" Syrus sighed, "This is gonna take a lot of work."

"Couldn't we just tie him up and dangle him from a fishing line?" suggested Jebel.

"We're trying to get _Jaden_, not E.J!" Syrus snapped.

"What about chaining him to an anchor?" Jebel's eyes gleamed at the idea of violence and hurting people and… well, we all know Jebel. Since when has s/he liked Jesse?

"We're not trying to kill him!" Poor Syrus, getting so frustrated by his minions.

"Send anonymous notes to come to a far off room in the mansion?"

"No, that sort of thing only works once and we used that chance up back in season one."

"Challenge him randomly to a duel?"

"Clever, but it wouldn't work in this case."

"Use his sex appeal?" The other two stared at Axel like he was crazy. "What?"

"Do you even know the meaning of the word 'clueless'?" groaned Syrus.

"Besides, that idea is stupid," taunted Jebel.

"Well it's a lot better than yours at least!" Axel growled back.

"So what do you say we do? Dress him up like a French Maid?" Jebel giggles like s/he was being possessed… well, technically s/he was, but let's move on. (2)

"Silence, both of you! Only Jaden and I are allowed to crossdress around here!" declared Syrus.

"Messed up little punk," Axel muttered.

"What did you say?!" bellowed the small teen. His eyes glowed red and a dark cloud of what appeared to be blood swirled around him. Even 4Kids was too scared of him to even try and censor this powerful entity! Axel and Jebel quivered in fear, as did the rest of the mansion (who could sense a great evil… yet again.)

Then they all remembered that it was just Syrus, and so were okay.

"Whatever. I say we chain him to a tree in that museum that no one ever goes to while wearing a maid costume and send an anonymous note challenging Jaden to a duel. And everyone agrees, right?" A large smirk appeared on Syrus' face as his eyes grew to be the size of saucers (er, BIGGER saucers than they already appear to be.)

"But isn't that the same ideas that we-" protested Jebel.

"**Everyone agrees, right?!"**

"Y-yes sir," said Jebel and Axel shakily. Syrus nodded in satisfaction and went off to pick out a lovely French maid costume, preferably a very scanty one.

"You know, I'm starting to regret agreeing to become one of his evil minions," commented Jebel, and Axel could only nod in agreement.

-- End Chapter --

Okay people, can somebody PLEASE tell me what the hell Jesse is supposed to be saying here? All I know is that he occasionally will refer to somebody (seemingly only people he's not friendly with) by some weird word…. I spelled it the way it sounds (the best way to spell a word wrong) but I want to make sure I got it right. I even checked Wikipedia to find out what he was saying! Of course, Wikipedia being the useful source it is, only told me the people with Southern accents say "y'all". Thanks Wikipedia, didn't notice that. Hey wait, _I_ don't have a Southern accent and yet I say y'all a lot myself! What's up with you Wikipedia?

(2) For anybody who wants to see this (coughacertainJessefangirlthatIgivemanyreviewstocough), go on DeviantArt and look up "ChaoticBlades". (Either that, or just look up 'French Maid Jesse'. You should be able to figure out which one it is.)


	5. Mental Scarring

We don't own GX. It's… kinda obvious….

-- Start Chapter! --

"MWAHAHAHHA!! The LIGHT-ahahaha! The Light, it's- YAHHAHAHHA!!" laughed Saiou insanely, "It-it conquers- MWAHAYAHAHAHA!- all!"

Chazz and Sartorious exchanged looks. Saiou had lost it. Well, not that he ever had actually _had_ it, but you get the point. He was acting even more crazy than usual, which was bad for the other inhabitants of the mansion. A crazy Saiou meant a crazy Sartorious would soon follow, allow with hordes of fake-ganstas who would join 4C's and edit Jaden's character to the point he wasn't even sure anymore of what sort of slang he should use. It always happened that way! And every time there was a Domino City cameo, though no one actually remembered him so it was kinda pointless.

"Saiou, it's time for your medication," said Sartorious, holding out a whole bag of pills. Chazz knocked his hand aside. "Chazz?! What are you doing?"

"Sorry, but at this point those aren't gonna help. What Saiou needs is professional help. Sort of like what you were looking for, only he didn't run to a person who was also in need of professional help," explained Chazz.

"I thought it would be best if I went to someone who was experienced!" Sartorious argued.

"Yeah, whatever," the other grumped, glaring at Saiou, who was sticking his hand into the cookie jar. Again.

**KABOOM!!**

The sound came from downstairs. Saiou leapt to his feet and looked around wildly to discover what it was but the others didn't even blink. Chazz merely sighed, grabbed a lead pole that was randomly in his room, and banged on the floor.

"Hey, dork! Quit it with the scientific experiments! No matter what you do, creating a hole in the time/space of this dimension isn't going to help us escape the mansion!" he bellowed at the floor.

"How dare you! That's not what I was trying to do at all! You see, if I take atoms and jksduwi jsgdwue woeuisj uys molecules isuehyifu qp0 2938ikej blah blah blah ieuy39 wi8y dowuid weg3 pd98f carbohydrates oeifu euy sl;idp0fi ;gohi-05 w3eywghs o8ef79e 4ruhuffd with the consistency of iwyd 2ikuye-" Bastion was cut off mid-rant. (1)

"Just would you quit blowing things up? We're trying to figure out where we can get professional help for Sartorious' alter ego in this dump! It's hard when every two seconds something explodes!" Chazz was ready to tear out his hair in frustration… if only he didn't like it so much. Between Sartorious and his new-found guilt complex, Saiou being Saiou, and E.J. being… E.J, his life was completely miserable. Worse yet, lately he'd seen Light!Chazz (Liazz) lurking around his room, going through his stuff. And then there was Light!Bastion (Blight) who alternated between trying to bleach his hair, clothes, brain, etc and forcing him to "See the Light".

"Dorks," he muttered angrily.

-- With Alexis--

She held her head and sighed, gritting her teeth in an attempt to _not_ murder the fools standing in front of her. Their babbled excuses were just beginning to get on her nerves.

"-And then E.J. was forcing us to get Honest new dresses, he wouldn't say no, and CB yelled at us for wasting our budget on Honest, then she and E.J. got into an argument over whether or not we actually had a budget and then that stupid cat tried to take over the world-" Crowler said, waving his arms through the air.

"Liar," interrupted Alexis, "You know Pharaoh only tries to take over the world on Thursday and the occasional Monday."

"The cat was being possessed!" protested Boneparte, "I'm serious! Nightshroud stole Pharaoh's soul and placed it in a mystic box, which we had to recover from Hassleberry, who was using it as a foot-rest and-"

"Nightshroud only possesses Atticus and Blaire and you know that. And he does that on alternating Wednesdays."

"But ma'am…," the two begged in unison. Alexis slammed her fist against the wall.

"Listen you maggots, I'm sick of hearing about all this! No more excuses, you're going to do all your chores _right now_ or I'll hand you over to the Supreme King and you _know_ what he does to anything that moves!" Alexis ordered fiercely.

"But-"

"NO BUTS!" she screeched. The adults took off running while she could only stand and shake her head at their foolishness.

-- Syrus and Jesse--

"Let me go!" yelled Jesse frantically. Syrus smirked maniacally. With a giggle he motioned for Axel to drop Jesse and leave the room. Said teen rolling his eyes and biting back an insulting comment. Never underestimate the power of the midget!

"What do you want?!" Jesse demanded once Axel had left the room.

"That's not for you to know," insisted Syrus, flipping his hair in a way he fondly imagined to be defiant and evil looking (in truth it was actually rather girly but… let's move on.) "So, which will it be?" he asked, holding up two dresses. One was a French Maid costume while the other was… a Play Boy bunny costume….

"O.o" commented Jesse. His jaw dropped, "You're… kidding me, right?"

"Nope!" announced Syrus cheerfully, dropping his very bad imitation of a villain, "If you wear one of these there's no way my plan could possibly fail!!"

"…A plan that involves me wearing a bunny costume…."

"Oh, so you don't like the French Maid dress?" Syrus sighed and tossed into a corner, "Picky, picky. Fine, _I'll _wear it. Then you'll see!" He began giggling evilly and snapped his fingers. Jebel walked in, looking bored.

"Jebel, you know what to do!" The midget marched out proudly and immediately ordered a new French Maid costume, this one in his size. _I'll get you yet! My beautiful aniki…,_ he drooled.

-- Jaden --

"Ow!" exclaimed said aniki, clutching his head. A paper air plane had been thrown with such force that there would probably be a bruise there tomorrow. "What's this?"

_-Jaden_

_If you ever want to see Mr. Sunshine-and-Rainbows Andersen again, meet me at the East Wing Museum in the exhibit with the tree shaped like Crowler . Bring your deck and duel disk and don't even think of telling anyone about this, or your friend will suffer for it! And don't tell any_thing_ either! Or any duel spirits! Or imaginary friends! Or anything that doesn't fit within these categories!_

_-Your Secret Admirer_

"Huh…. This is Sy's handwriting," commented Jaden, "Wonder what this is all about. Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm not friends with anyone named 'Sunshine-and-Rainbows'. What were his parents thinking?" Our oblivious friend gathered up his gear and headed towards the museum, where a surprise awaited him.

-- At the Museum --

"Okay, I'm here! So let Sunshine-and-Rainbows go already!" cried Jaden, stepping the room with the Crowler-shaped tree. That's when he noticed Jesse tied to the tree, wearing the Play Boy bunny suit. "Hey Jess. What'cha doin'?"

"Mmph! Mmph, mmph, mMPH! MnMPH!" Jesse explained. He struggled to get away from the tree.

"Sorry, couldn't really understand you there. What did you say again?" Jesse blinked and stared. Had he not been gagged, his jaw would've dropped at this point. _Uh oh,_ he thought in realization, _Is it _that _time of the month?_ You see my friends, once a month Jaden becomes extremely clueless (more so than usual anyway) and becomes very easy to take advantage of. That was one of the many things that lead to locking Adrian in the basement.

"So, you've come, like monkeys to bananas!" said a very familiar, very serious voice.

"Did someone say BANANAS?!" asked Jaden, looking around wildly, "Where?!"

"Why have bananas when you can have candy, Jaden?" suggested Syrus, stepping into plain view and dropping his voluminous robe to the floor. He was wearing the French Maid costume that Jesse had unwittingly rejected.

"Candy?! Where?!" The other two teens in the room sighed. It was one thing to laugh about how easily he was tricked during his ultra-stupid/clueless time of the month but on the other hand, it was also really hard to get through to him.

"Eye candy," sighed Syrus, pointing towards the Play Boy bunny.

"Oh, I get it," stated Jaden, nodding to himself. The others held their breath in hope that maybe, just maybe that time of the month had ended. They were out of luck. "Why didn't anyone tell me it was Halloween?"

"H-Halloween?" choked Syrus. Jesse (who was still gagged) decided that enough was enough and just used a conveniently stored plot-hole to escape. Unfortunately for him, Jebel was waiting for that and grabbed him.

"Well yeah, I mean, you're both in costume and you've got candy so obviously it's Halloween, right?" Jaden grinned in pride at his show of logic. Clearly there was no better explanation for all this!

"J-Jaden?" stuttered Jesse cautiously.

"Yeah Jess?" he replied. Angels fainted dead out of the sky at the innocence in his gaze.

"Please, just get out of here." Seeing Jaden's confusion, Jesse sighed. He decided it was time for a maneuver that few people could do and survive. "E.J. wanted to duel you."

"REALLY?! Sweet!" he screamed in wild joy. He rushed towards the door, only to be grabbed by Syrus.

"Not so fast! I'll never let you go! **EVER!!**" Syrus shrieked. He squeezed Jaden close to him, so tightly that he began to turn blue.

"Sy… rus…," he gasped out. Syrus was about to complete his dastardly scheme when suddenly-

"Never fear! WONDER ZANE is here!" exclaimed Zane, leaping down from the ceiling. He was wearing skin-tight fangirl-squealing-invoking black shirt and pants with salmon-pink streamers floating down from his shoulders.

"O.O …" said everyone in unison. Syrus and Jebel fell over, scarred for life. Jesse choked and stumbled, but managed to keep upright. Jaden, on the other hand-

"Oh! So you decided to dress up for Halloween too Zane?" Zane nodded with a huge grin and quickly beat up the villains. Jaden watched wide-eyed, now getting scarred himself. Luckily, Jesse was smart enough to cover his eyes and hustle him out of the room.

"Never underestimate the Zane!" he declared proudly, the bashed-up foes lying groaning on the ground.

-- End Chapter --

(1) Just in case no one gets it, this is supposed to be incomprehensible science crap. See, it's… funny? Haha?

And don't hold your breath, Wonder Zane WILL come back, in all his mind-scarring glory!


	6. Fanclub

-- Start Chapter

Just to warn everyone, the dividing lines might look a little strange. This is because I'm tired of seeing only a small portion of the lines remain after submitting the document so I'm trying a variety of things to try and get the lines to stay.

We don't own GX. If we did the series would've had a definite end that would come a lot later than the one that actually happened.

-- Start Chapter! --

"OW! Ow, ow, ow!" cried Jaden, clutching his head. The bruise from the paper airplane the day before had just been hit… by another paper airplane. He grumbled and unfolded it to read:

_Dear My Most Beloved-est in the Whole Universe Jaden,_

_Please, just meet me in the 19__th__ floor office in the South-South-Southest Wing next to the bathroom where the ghost of someone who 4Kids censored too much lurks. I must talk with you about a very important topic- us. i luvs u vry much. So please heed my request and come yonder, my adorable little hunny-bunches-of-oats._

_Love,_

_Bastun Mesawwa_

Jaden blinked. "Isn't Bastion spelled with a 'ch'?" He shrugged and started off towards the South-South-Southest Wing and Bastun Mesawwa.

-- Honest --

"So, you thought you could get rid of me, huh?" sneered Honest, stomping on Yubel's wing. The entire group dedicated to destroying him was there, defeated by his mighty new allies. They had recently joined 4Kids and were the embodiment of all evil. No, they weren't the Teletubbies. Not Barney or the 4Kids One Piece opening theme.

"You're all fools! Censorship protects everyone!" announced Funshine the Care Bear joyfully. Cheer Bear nodded happily in agreement.

"No… anyone but them…," moaned Yubel, started to feel faint from all the positive vibrations in the atmosphere. Vibrations that, in a far off corner of the mansion, caused Jim's vibe-sensing-device to explode.

"Oh golly, golly gosh! You can't mean that!" exclaimed Friend Bear, smiling perkily.

"J-J-JADEN! HELP ME!" The poor duel spirit started crying as the Care Bears danced/skipped euphorically around her. Honest let out a maniacal laugh that was halted as soon as E.J. stormed into the room.

"What in censored's names is going on here?" he demanded. His eye twitched when he saw all the hyper bears bouncing around his bedroom. He walked over to the excited mammals, grabbed Funshine's shoulder, spun him/her around, and glared deep into his/her eyes. "If you don't stop this nonsense _this moment_, I will personally lock you in the basement with the other riffraff."

"Y-you can't mean that…," Funshine said with a quivering lip. Its eyes widened in terror at the threat. E.J. smirked and through him/her/it across the room. The rest of the Care Bears soon scampered away. 4C's had lost a few members, and it was their first day too!

_E.J. saved me! He really does love me!_ Yubel giggled and cried, "Thank you, Jay-chan!" With a glomp and a kiss on the cheek, she was off to create the perfect gift for him, that would help him realize their eternal, and mutual, love.

"Wh-what just happened…?" wondered E.J, Honest looking on in jealousy.

-- -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Chazz and Co -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

"So are you going to help or not?" asked Chazz. His patience, having already reached a new low, was wearing thin to the point of non-existence.

"Well, I don't know much about counseling…," stated Sarina. She pursed her lips and decided that maybe she should try to help anyway, since Chazz looked about ready to explode. "How about this, I'll team up with two others who might be able to help. How's that?"

"Fine. But they better be good." He turned to Sartorious and Saiou. "Just so you two know, I've done my part. After this I don't wanna be the one hearing about your problems, alright?" He stomped off, angrily muttering about a list of chores he had failed to accomplish amidst finding them professional help. CB was gonna throw a fit.

"Come along, Sartorious, Saiou. You're in good hands now and remember, we're here to help," said Sarina. She lead them into her room to meet the other councilors. Pointing to each in turn she continued, "I'm Sarina, and these are Aster and Nightshroud."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Syrus and Atticus --**-**--**-**--**-**--**--**--**--**--

"Ah, I see," Atticus sighed, nodding his head wisely. His hands rested on Syrus's shoulders. "So you care deeply for Jaden. You love him. And yet, Jesse insists on stealing him away! Well, never fear! The Master of Love is here to help you!" After this declaration Syrus found himself in the clutches of Jasmine and Mindy, each with a large share of cosmetics.

"The best way for a girly guy to catch an oblivious guy is to make himself even girlier!" Atticus laughed and thought of his moment with Zane.

_--_----_--__--__--__-- Flashback --__--__--__--__--_

"_Oh Zaney-Poo!" Atticus cried, running towards the other teen prodigy. He looked up and groaned._

"_Atticus, what are you doing in a wedding gown?" Zane all but growled. Atticus giggled and gave a twirl._

"_You like it? It's what I'm gonna wear at our wedding!" He tried to glomp Zane, who just moved out of the way and turned to walk off._

"_Oh, you big meany, you let me fall so you could see up the dress, didn't you? Silly, all you had to do was ask!" Atticus cried. Zane's eye twitched and he quickly walked away. Atticus flicked away a tear and sniffed. "Who knew he was so shy? What a cutey."_

_--__--__--__--__-- End Flashback --__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__-- _

Atticus clasped his hands happily together in memory of the event. "Syrus, Syrus, if someone as manly as myself could use this trick to get your stone-cold brother, it should be no problem for you and your girliness to snag Jaden! Though I have to admit, it would've been easier if you liked E.J. We could've dressed you up as a fish and thrown you into the lake."

-- -- -- -- **-- -- -- -- -- -- --** -- -- Jaden -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -

"Bastion! Bastion!" he called. For you see, Jaden had gotten lost on the way to the spot he was supposed to meet 'Bastun' at. "Huh, where could he be?"

"He's not here Jay," whispered a dulcet voice. Jaden turned to see a blue-haired girl walk out of a nearby room.

"Oh, hey. Do you know where we are? 'Cause I kinda got lost on my way to the 19th floor office." He paused as he realized something. "Hey wait, I've never seen you before. Are you new here?"

"Jaden, don't you recognize me?" said the girl with a sigh.

"Uhhh… no. Should I?" He blinked several times in confusion.

"It is I, your one true love!" she declared, tossing her hair in a vaguely familiar way, "The keeper of shadows and commander of the extremely-misguided forces! The one and only, Syrus Truesdale!" He waited for lightning to strike dramatically. After some time Hamon, figuring it could end this awkward scene sooner if it did so, sent a blast so little that by the time it reached them, all it did was frizz up Sy's hair. Oh well.

"Syrus? You're a girl?" Jaden asked, looking at a more than noticeable bulge in his chest.

"N-no!"

"Than what's that?" he wondered, pointing to his chest, "And anyways, Bastion sent me a note to meet him so I should get going."

"Th-this is just the idea that A-Atticus gave me! And like I said, Bastion's not coming! _I_ sent that note and I used his name because I was too scared to use my own!" Syrus stuttered nervously.

"It's fine Sy. Although… you know you can trust me, we have been friends for over two years now!" said Jaden with a grin, "So what about us did you want to talk about?"

Syrus curled his hands into fists and clenched his teeth. His eyes shut tight and his back hunched over, he cried in passion, "J-JADEN! I LOVE YOU!1!1!!" He quickly glomped the frightened teen and buried his face in his shoulder. The scene would've been cute if Jaden weren't deathly afraid.

"S-Syrus?!" he exclaimed, trying to push him away.

"It's true! I've loved you since the moment we met and I always thought you were the most adorable thing ever and I wish you were mine, I'm attracted to you like a moth to a flame! Like a parrot to a cracker! Like a bunny to a carrot! And not only am I _like_ a bunny, I'm _your_ bunny!" he gushed, ignoring Jaden's faint protests, "We can hop all around Duel Academy and the Mansion and the world, even in bed! Just please say you'll be my cutie little valentine!"

"Syrus, what are you talking about?!" he blurted out. His eyes were wider than Syrus', a feat never before accomplished.

"I LOVE you! You have to be mine!" he sobbed into Jaden's shirt. Suddenly he stopped and said in a deep, evil voice, "It's Jesse, isn't it? He's taken you away from me! Otherwise you would be all over me!"

"Uh, newsflash shrimpboat, he's _mine_. Can't you see you're making him uncomfortable?" Yubel, having heard Syrus' declaration of love (it was to _Jaden_, of course she heard it), immediately grabbed the nearest weapon of mass destruction and charged off after the one who dared steal Jaden from her.

"I thought you wanted E.J?" grunted Syrus.

"I want Jaden. It doesn't matter which one. In fact, I wouldn't mind having them all!" she cackled. She raised her weapon (which just so happened to be an unconscious E.J.) and pointed it at Syrus. "Launch Battle! I'll show you the power of my everlasting love!" About half way through a cat-fight they realized that the prize had run off. With a glare at the other, both combatants raced off after the retreating lover.

-- J -- A -- D -- E -- N --

"Somebody, help!" he begged as he ran from his fanclub. After managing to get down to the 11th floor, people noticed the chase and after realizing the fight for Jaden's love was on, joined it. Many had found themselves having to drop out but Yubel, Syrus, Bastion, Blight, Liazz, Nightshroud, Hell Kaiser, Jebel, and Blair were still running, and showing no signs of exhaustion.

"Did someone call for help?" came a voice from the heavens. From the sky (even though they were indoors) leapt an almighty warrior… in… spandex?

"Never fear, **S**uper**Zane** is here!" proclaimed celestial hero. He was clothed in a bright orange suit with pink cowgirl boots. Said boots had rockets and laser guns attached to the bottom, but you didn't _really_ need to know that, did you?

"I thought (huff) you were (huff) Wonder Zane?" panted Jaden as he sat down to rest.

"With modifications comes improvement!" Zane giggled, sounding rather delirious. The fanclub rounded the corner and once again were stunned by Zane's mind-scarring powers. He posed to Jaden and pointed. "And thus my point is proven! Tallyho, chaps!" And in a wave of purple mist he was gone.

_Why have I got a feeling that he's stalking me?_ thought Jaden. He sighed and with a shrug set off to go find Jesse.

-- E -- N -- D -- -- C -- H -- A -- P -- T -- E -- R --

Sorry for the late chapter. Inspiration went on and off but here I am with chapter 6! Hope you all enjoy! If there's anyone you want to see more of, just state it in a review and a place can probably be found for them (Blight, Liazz, and Bastion ARE gonna show up more though. It… just might take awhile.)


	7. Poor, Poor Jesse

-- S -- T -- A -- R -- T--C -- H -- A -- P -- T -- E -- R --

**IMPORTANT! READ FIRST!**

Okay, this is the first time I, Chaotic Blades, have written a duel since the disastrous attempt in chapter 7 of _Chosen One, Jaden Yuki_. It's not supposed to make any sense, seeing as how I really hate writing them. Trust me, there'll be so much rule breaking it'll make the original Yu-Gi-Oh! look like fair play! So don't flame me if nothing makes sense, 'cause I'm TRYING to make it as senseless as possible.

And for the part where it's '"-.-" Angel grumbled', that was originally the emoticon where instead of the dashes, it has equals signs and instead of the period, it has that other function of the dash key where you have to hold down shift. Unfortunately, those are one of the many symbols FF cuts out when you post so I had to replace it. For all I know it'll cut out the entire emoticon.

Don't own!

-- S -- T -- A -- R -- T--C -- H -- A -- P -- T -- E -- R --

"What do you think you're doing?!" demanded Jesse in fright, backing away from his menace right into the wall.

"What does it look like?" countered Blair, still advancing, "I figure if I can't have my Jadey-poo, I might as well settle for the next closest thing."

"But we're not the same!" he yelped. He grabbed a chair and blocked her whilst thinking, _Ugh, fangirls. Why are there so many at this Academy?_

"Close enough for me!" cheered Blair. She opened her mouth wide and began sucking in air like a vacuum. Jesse stumbled back in fear and covered his ears, knowing what was coming next. "SSSQQQQQQUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" bellowed Blair at the top of her lungs. Jesse fell to the floor, KO'd. "Still got it," she said with a smirk. She grabbed his body and dragged him off.

--/--/--/-- Chazz --/--/--/

"How dare you?! Get your slimy paws off her, Society freaks!" Chazz yelled. Blight and Liazz grinned evilly before continuing their task- tying Alexis up. "Give her back!"

"If you want her so much, come and claim her dork!" Liazz giggled, "Yes, come and **See The Light**!! She'll be joining you soon enough!"

"Game on!" they both declared.

"I'll go first!" growled Chazz, "I'll play Ojama Yellow in defense mode and place three cards face down. Your turn!"

"I play Megalight in ultra-attack mode, which doubles it's attack! And then I use it's special ability, which doubles all damage you receive!" laughed Liazz crazily. His monster had (after playing it in "ultra-attack" mode) 5400 attack points.

"Isn't that a Level 9 monster?!" demanded Chazz. He was starting to freak out. Who knew **The Light** was so powerful?

"Yes, but by sending a card in my deck to the grave I can play it as well as a Spell or Trap card in my hand! So I ditch Despair from the Dark to summon the Level 9 Megalight! And then from my hand play Call of the Haunted to bring back Despair from the Dark!! This is the power of **The Light**!" ranted Liazz, punching the air with his fist and sending shockwaves of rainbows hurtling through the air.

"What about this 'ultra-attack mode' you mentioned?! There's no such thing! You cheated!" accused Chazz.

"There is no cheating when it comes to _**destiny**_!" declared Blight dramatically, "My draw!"

"Wait, so I'm up against both of you? I never agreed to a triangle duel!"

"You have no choice, it's _**destiny**_! I play Cutie, Princess of Light in attack mode! And for every star of every monster on the field, she gains 500 attack points!" Blight began laughing evilly as her attack went from 0 to 7500.

"A card that powerful shouldn't be only 4 stars!" Chazz complained. He was still recovering from the frustrations of the Sartorious and Saiou incident and so still didn't have much patience. Not… that he usually had much patience to begin with but….

"Yes it can, because it holds the **Power of The Light**!" roared Liazz, streaks of thunder shooting out across the sky.

"It's the _**destiny**_ of this little cutie to be this powerful!" snickered Blight.

"Well too bad! It's my turn now! And I play both Ring of Destruction AND Ring of Defense!" Megalight was destroyed. Alexis was freed. Liazz and Blight ran off screaming about the horrors of the unbeatable light being beaten.

"Chazz! My hero!" swooned Alexis in a fit of OOC gratitude. He picked her up bridal style and they skipped off into a glorious sunset to go make daisy chains.

--/--/--/-- Yubel and Haou --/--/--

Haou's eye twitched with annoyance. For an entire day, Yubel had stared at him, never once looking away or blinking. Every now and then she giggled or grinned in the creepiest way imaginable. It was to the point he was ready to pull out buzz saw/CD player/copy machine/cookie cutter duel disk (the best always has the most functions, after all!) and rip her a new one. Finally, he lost it.

"Just what are you staring at, fiend?!" he snapped, glaring hatefully at the offender. She merely giggled and continued staring, this time moving a little bit closer. His scowl became more forceful as he took a step closer himself. "What are you staring at? It's a simple question, wench. One that you would be well-advised to answer."

"Oh, nothing," she sang, not only continuing to stare but also beginning to hum an annoying tune.

"Listen to me, Yubel-" he began. Before he could finish she grabbed him, dumped him in a sack, and ran off to her room with him in tow, cackling all the way.

"Unhand me you crazy- mmph!" Haou tried to say. He was locked in a closet.

"Hahaha… hahahaha… ahahahahahaha!" she laughed, "Now I'll be able to get you, my beloved Jaden! And your little emo too! Hahahaha!" Soon her vile plan would be complete and all the Jaden's, even Haou and E.J, would be all hers to watch over and stalk endlessly for all eternity!

--/--/-- Jebel and Jesse --/--/--

Jebel slammed Jesse into a door. "You _will_ do as I say! After all, I _did_ save you from Blair!" Jesse groaned, in more than just pain. _When is this guy gonna quit?_ he wondered.

"Look, I'm not going dark!" he spat, ready to tear out his hair. Jebel merely glared before a sudden change came over his features. Slowly but surely a smirk spread across his face till it stretched from one side to the other. The orange eyes only made it even creepier. S/he started giggling crazily, alternating between Jesse's voice and Jebel's. Jesse saw it as his chance for escape. He was successfully edging away when-

"HahaAaHAHAhHAhahAHahHahahA! That's it, I'll _make_ you go dark! You'll soon see the truth, that with our combined powers we can kidnap our gorgeous Jaden and keep him in our clutches for good!" Jebel laughed at his/her ingenious idea.

"Does that mean you're going to share him with Yubel?" questioned Jesse. _If I can keep him occupied, maybe I can find my chance to escape, _he thought.

"Yubel?! Why would I want to share my little sweetie with _her_?" inquired Jebel cluelessly (which was odd enough, considering who we're talking about here.)

"But… isn't she… kinda… you?"

"Well, yeah," s/he agreed, startled, "But I'm also _you,_ so I'm inclined to look at your interests too. Besides, I only want him 'cause your body wants him so I'm more likely to share with you." Jebel grew tired of the conversation and held out his/her hand. "Now come, we have a lot of preparation that needs to be done."

"Yeah… that's great," replied Jesse. He slapped the hand away and made a run for it.

"No!" cried Jebel. S/he lunged forward and grabbed Jesse by the waist, knocking both to the ground. He fought back as hard as he could, wriggling this way and that, but somehow couldn't overpower himself.

"Now you're all mine," s/he snarled, "You will join me on my quest whether you like it or not!" S/he dragged Jesse towards him/her so that s/he was straddling his hips to keep him in place while s/he performed the ritual required to turn Jesse to his dark side.

"And you claim to be the only Jaden fanperson who's both a girl and a guy? You're a disgrace!" spat Yubel, walking in on Jebel "molesting" Jesse.

"Quiet! I busy here! I need to turn his to darkness in order to realize my evil scheme!" Jebel snapped. Hey, it's hard to be polite and change the part of a person's soul that was controlling them at the same time!

"Really? Need some help?" offered Yubel. The two Yubel's (even if one was also Jesse) shook hands. While the girl and sorta-girl were distracted, once again Jesse tried to make a run for it.

"Not so fast!" they yelled in unison. Their eyes glowed an amber color and Jesse found himself rushing to attack Yubel. He punched her in the face.

"Nightmare Pain," she intoned.

"Ah!" he screamed as the rose vine wrapped around him. Jebel took the chance s/he had been given to grab Jesse and place in the final rearrangements in his soul. He stopped struggling and went limp.

"Yes! We did it! Now my plan to get Jaden will be able to be fulfilled!" cheered Jebel.

"Oooh, a plan to capture Jaden? Can I help? I'm already planning to use Haou!"

"Great idea! Let's work together! For when together, no one can defeat us! When apart, loneliness is our only ally, and a pathetic ally it is!" proclaimed Jebel. They linked arms and, with Jesse slung over their greatly-mismatched-in-height shoulders, went off to plot.

--/--/-- Earlier that Day--/--/ --/--

"Happiness and love will conquer all! ALL!!1!!" preached Funshine. It clapped it's be-furred little paws together in a puff of pink smoke.

"Careful," warned E.J, "That smoke is dangerous. It will 'cause anyone it touches to become completely 4Kids approved."

"Oh come on! There's no such force that can do that on the planet!" said CB, twitching.

"There isn't? Then you have nothing to fear," stated E.J, pointing at the smoke that had already touched her arm. Everyone watched in growing horror as CB's eyes changed color… and shape… to become the same heart eyes Chazz got around Alexis. Only these were worse, much worse. They held within them the same lifeless stare that could be seen in a member of the Society of **Light**. She suddenly screamed and jumped on top of E.J.

"I love you! I love the world! Please, shield me from any evils that come my way! PLEASE! I love them so much, I couldn't bare to get rid of them myself so please, PROTECT ME!!" she bellowed in his ear, shaking him back and force by his shoulders.

"No… it's true!" gasped Jaden. A small bit of the smoke got through to Angel (though luckily not nearly as much as had hit the poor, brainwashed CB.)

"I love you Jaden!" hollered Angel, glomping the teen in question and grinning, "Don't you ever go emo again!" The moment passed and she went to normal.

"I won't!" he promised anyway, and hugged back.

"GROUP HUG!!X3!!" hollered CB, charging in to join them. Big pink hearts flew through the air.

"All this positive energy is making me get a migraine," E.J. muttered, twitching. He checked his fishing gear box for bait- nothing. He couldn't stand not being able to go fishing.

"Well, I guess you can't go fishing until you get more bait...here, have a cookie," Angel suggested, holding out a cookie that had magically appeared.

"I do not partake of sweets," he told her sourly.

"Who talks like that? O.o" she asked confusion.

"Goodbye," he growled as he stomped off to get bait from the kitchen.

"-.-," grumbled Angel.

"Huh? What have I been… doing?" CB looked all around her at the devastation wrought by the Care Bears.

"You were taken over by the power of the Care Bears!" explained Jaden.

"I was WHAT?!" she screeched back. She turned to the falsely innocent mammals. "That's it, I'm suing! I want compensation for use of my body! Or mind! Or whatever it is you morons used!"

"Fools," grinned Funshine, somehow making it sound cheerful, "Don't you know the power of The Light?"

"You're in league with The Light?!" demanded Jaden.

"Of course," confirmed Funshine. It motioned with a paw and all the Care Bears stared at the unlucky teens before them.

"DON'T YOU WANT A HUG? DON'T YOU WANT SOME LOVE?" they called devilishly. Their eyes swirlied in a painful attempt to hypnotize. A horrible explosion of hearts and love and friendship burst all around them.

Haou, who had remained silent until then, roared, "Why you-" He shook with anger, then suddenly smirked. "Yes, I do want a hug. Come get one..."

"YAY!" squealed the Care Bears joyfully. They leaped towards him.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! went Haou's buzz saw as the Care Bears screamed, their blood and fur flying everywhere. Jaden's eyes widened in shock, before Angel and CB had the sense to cover them. Angel stroked his hair until he calmed down while CB cracked her knuckles.

"All right Haou, you've been a naughty boy! But since you killed the Care Bears, instead of giving you a time out all I'll do is give you more chores. Now come," she ordered, "Crowler and Boneparte didn't clean up their room last night and it reeks!" She dragged the reluctant king away to do "peasant's work".

--/--/--/--/-- End Chapter --/--/--

I was going to stretch it out longer, but I just lost the will to. Don't worry, next chapter we'll see evil Jesse, Hassleberry (a request I never found a slot for), Adrian (since he does play an annoyingly large part in plot, which I will be getting to), and Blair will probably be annoying too. So hope you all enjoy!


	8. Wow, So There IS a Plot!

We don't own

We don't own! If we did, the Supreme King mini-arc wouldn't've been as painful.

-- Start Chapter! --

"No! It's mine!" growled Hassleberry, clinging to the mystic box.

"Please! You must understand, Pharaoh needs his soul back!" begged Crowler.

"It's mine, all mine!" he snarled.

"Just leave this job to The Chazz, he's never going to understand otherwise," said Chazz, stepping forward in all his daisy-clad glory. The strings of simple blossoms trailed down his chest, ending with cute little ribbons around his knees. An intricate daisy crown was on his head, signifying his innocence, loyal love, and purity. (1) The teen was a sight of breath-taking beauty. The inhabitants of the room gasped in awe at his radiant appearance.

"Please… what do you want…?" asked Hassleberry, drool dripping from his open mouth. His eyes briefly changed into slits before he grabbed a hold of his primal instincts.

"That box. I must have it!" cried Chazz, sprinkling them all in daisy blossoms as he waved his arms wildly through the air.

"Anything for you!" gushed Hassleberry, hearts for eyes. The mansion struck once again! The minute Chazz had the box in his hands, our dear dino-dude charged off into the horizon, yelling for Atticus at the top of his lungs.

"That… was weird," Chazz commented before handing Crowler the box. He'd only wanted to get it so he could show off his mighty power of the daisy chain so he didn't really care what happened next.

-- Jaden -- Jaden -- Jaden -- Jaden -- Jaden --

"What is it with people and sending me notes?" wondered Jaden, staring at the piece of paper in his hand.

_Dear Jaden,_

_Want something better than a duel? Come meet me in The Heart of the Mansion and I'll show you!_

_Love, Love, Love!_

_Yubel_

"Okay Yubel, I'm here! So what's this thing you're talking about that's better than a duel?" he shouted, looking around the room. The Heart of the Mansion was a dark, musty room filled with all kinds of nooks and crannies. There were giant pipes all over the place and large cobwebs hanging from ceiling to floor. "Geez, why do people always want to meet me in weird places like this?" He crossed his arms over his chest and shivered.

"Thank you for showing, my _dear_ Jaden," purred Yubel, stepping out from one of the many shadows in the room.

"So you are here! So Yubel, uh, what did your want to show me? And why'd it have to be down here of all places?" he asked nervously. Peeking from side to side while awaiting her answer, all he could see were strange images in the gloom.

"Why don't you have a look?" suggested Yubel with a dangerous smirk hovering on her lips. She pointed towards the shadows she had come out from. Against his better judgment, Jaden crept into the space that had been pointed out. He gasped as he came face to face with Haou.

Chained to a wall.

With no shirt on.

In a towel.

He blinked. And blinked again. Finally he asked, "Aren't you cold wearing that?" Haou, though he had to admit it was funny, couldn't help but growl. First he was humiliated and then next the boy didn't even notice his soul-shattering sexiness?! Heads were gonna roll, that's for sure!

"So what do you think?" she giggled, licking her lips.

"Think of what? And where's nice thing that's supposed to be better than a duel?" he replied. He looked over the room but still nothing that sparked his interest.

"It's me you dolt!" raged Haou. Eyes narrowed, he watched Jaden as he digested this information. A look of understanding crossed his face but you can't fool the Supreme King! He knew that whatever it was that Jaden had figured out, it probably wasn't what Yubel (and secretly he) was hoping for. And of course, the Supreme King is never wrong.

"Oh, I get it now!" exclaimed Jaden cheerily, "You're right, Yubel! Dueling myself in this creepy place is way better than a normal duel!" Ignoring the anime fall he continued on. "I mean, come on! The eerie atmosphere, the suspense, facing off against yourself! This is gonna be so much fun!"

"I told you this wouldn't work," said a voice from another dimly lit corner of the room. Out stepped Blair, wearing a hooded robe of blood-red.

"Who asked you?! And what are you doing here anyway? This is none of your business!" snapped Yubel. Blair just smirked and lowered her hood.

"I'm here for Jaden of course. Same as you and Jebel. Only I'll succeed where you fail!" she cackled. From deep within her robe she pulled a pink, glittery wand. "What? It was the best I could do!" she muttered in frustration at the strange looks she was being given, "Now prepare to _DIE!_"

"Hey, what makes you so special that you can say that and not get sent to the stars?!" demanded Yubel.

"Because I am a part of 4C's!" shouted Blair, raising her arms in unison with the cry. Everyone gasped in appropriate shock as she proceeded to censor the chains and the towel in a flash of sparkly might.

"What… is this feeling…?" groaned Jaden, lurching to the floor. All knowledge of anything sex-related drained from his skull. The memory of Haou in chains was edited out, since there was no way to censor it and keep it at the same time. "I feel sick…," he moaned.

"Don't worry, Jay-Jay!" Blair cooed, "I'll take care of you!" She hugged him and planted kisses all over his face. Thanks to her powers of censorship, he didn't realize what was going on so did nothing to stop it.

"How dare you?! He's MINE! MINE I say!" screeched Yubel. She pulled Blair off of Jaden by the hair and slapped her across the face.

"Yours?! He's ME, so therefore he's MINE!" roared Haou, jumping into the fray. Punches were thrown in every direction as the trio proceeded to beat the crap out of each other. Jaden backed away slowly until three pairs of demonic eyes latched onto his figure and he was jumped. They all landed heavily on the floor and grabbed every part of him they could.

"H-help!" he screamed in horror.

"See? You're hurting him! I'm his guardian, I'm the only one who won't destroy him!" snapped Yubel.

"Jaden's a part of me and I know what's best for him!" Haou argued back.

"The two of you aren't gentle enough with him! He needs a loving, caring housewife!" raged Blair. The other two immediately ganged up on her. In the confusion Jaden sneaked off. Everything was going fine until he looked back to check and see if they were all still fighting. In his inattention he banged right into what felt like a chest.

"Oof!" he cried, "I'm sorry, I was just trying to get away-"

"That's alright," purred a familiar voice, "I can help you get away to someplace nice and private where we can have a little… _fun_." Jaden recognized who it was straight off.

"Jesse! That is you, right? Thank you so much, I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you!" A conveniently placed beam of dim light fell across Jesse's face, revealing a sinister smirk and a lustful stare.

"How about you repay me… with this?" he suggested, placing his lips on Jaden's in a bruising kiss. He deepened it steadily until tongue was added.

"MMMPHHH!" yelled Jaden. This got the attention of his other three suitors.

"**HE'S ****MIIIINNNNEEEEEEE****!!"** they howled in unison. As one they rushed at him, grabbing Jesse to pull him away. Of course, since he also happened to be the strongest one there, he was able to throw them all off. He held Jaden with one arm and looked at the defeated trio on the floor.

"Well, well, well. What _ever_ should I do with all of you?" Jesse mused, a sneer forming, "Should I take this flimsy stick and censor you all until you're nothing but a puddle of pixels?" he asked, holding up Blair's wand. She tried unsuccessfully to reach for it before he captured her wrist and held her up at eye height. "Should I instead skin you all alive and spill your blood in ways so gory even 4Kids doesn't have the power to censor it all? Or should I take our dear Jaden from you all and keep him to myself until he dies?" Jesse dropped Blair and brought Jaden closer into his arms. And though he struggled, there was nothing Jaden could do to shake him off.

"Jesse, what's gotten _into_ you?" he exclaimed.

"Jesse!" Yubel gasped, "We were supposed to share him! It was Jebel and I who helped you gain this power, now you need to help us!"

"Why should I help you when I can help myself?!" Jesse twirled Jaden around into a dip, then kissed him again. As soon as the dizziness left him, Jaden started squirming to get free. However, it didn't work. "Soon, pet, I'll show you a dark realm where we can share the fruits of eternal torment together. Won't that be a fate of delicious ecstasy?"

"Yubel! You said that you and Jebel made him like this! Now please, turn him back!" he insisted while trying to keep Jesse's hands from roaming _too_ far. In the end they just settled for groping his butt.

"I can't! I'd need Jebel to do that! Besides… he seems to have gained strange powers that are draining my energy," she murmured.

"Then… does that mean… we're done for?" said Blair shakily.

"Of course not! Because I'll save you!" Down from the ceiling dropped Syrus, in a skin-tight hot pink bodysuit with a matching tiara. Everyone stared for a long moment.

"Syrus…? What are you… wearing?" Jaden wondered, not entirely sure if he wanted the answer.

"No one's… passing out? B-but it always w-worked for Z-Zane," Syrus stuttered, "W-well no matter! I'm still here for everyone! I'll save you Jay!"

Jesse burst into a booming laugh. "You? Save Jaden? How's a pipsqueak like you supposed to manage to save the hero?"

"I-I can do it! I believe in myself!" Syrus cried, closing his eyes tightly to show his level of belief. When he opened them again he saw Jaden in the chains Haou had been in with Evil!Jesse feeling up his chest. "H-hey! Quit mocking me!"

"Why should I? You're so pitiful I can barely contain my laughter!" snickered Jesse.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are," said a voice from the shadows. Out stepped Adrian, an aura of evil spreading out around him like the ink of an octopus.

"Adrian? What are you doing outside of the basement?" asked Jaden. Adrian eyed him in the chains before pointing a finger towards the whole group. They were sent flying backwards.

"Let's just say, the Mansion isn't happy with the way things have been going," he stated with a sickening grin.

"The Mansion? What do you mean?" Blair demanded.

"Haven't you noticed? This mansion is alive! It brought all of us here to help us settle our problems but all you've been doing is abusing your privileges!" he explained, a fanatical look coming into his eyes, "You've argued and fought and even went as far as to lock me in the basement! Well no more. The Mansion isn't happy with your behavior. Its good intentions only last as long as you're all united! The more you try to destroy each other, the more the Mansion will try to destroy you! By order of the Mansion and for my own revenge, you all will now suffer!" As if in agreement with him, the pipes all simultaneously burst, spewing flames everywhere.

"We have to get out of here!" yelled Haou.

"Jaden, stay behind me!" ordered Yubel.

"But then you'll get hurt instead of me! I can't let you do that!" Jaden said worriedly.

"Don't worry about me, I can take the heat!"

"Guys, the door is gone!" panicked Blair.

"That's right. You'll all perish in the flames of your own selfish desires!" laughed Adrian, fading out of sight.

"Are we really done for?" muttered Jaden softly to himself.

"Don't worry," Yubel comforted him, "I won't let any harm come to you." She hugged him close.

"Nor will I let harm come to any of you!" yet another voice called. From the exact same spot on the ceiling that Syrus had appeared through, Zane came bursting down. He was wearing yet another skintight pink outfit, this one almost exactly the same as Burstinatrix's clothes. The only difference was a bunch of ruffles, like on Jesse's blouse. "Nice outfit, bro," he said to Syrus, "Pretty soon you can join me!"

"You really mean it big brother?" Syrus cried with large sparkling eyes.

"You bet!" A thumbs up was given before Zane put out all the flames with his super powers and blasted a hole in the wall. "See? The **Z**-Man always comes through!"

"'Z-Man'? What's next, Zane-alicious?" Haou grumbled. How could he, the magnificent Supreme King, be saved by this freak in spandex? He'd show them!

"Hmf! How dare you! Fine then, get out on your own then!" Zane grumped (forgetting that he'd already given them the way out.) "Toodles Syrus!"

"See you soon Zane!" Syrus managed to shout back before he was dragged out of the room by several annoyed cast members. "What? Saying goodbye took a lot less time than getting this chapter up!"

-- End Chapter --

Innocence, Loyal Love, I'll Never Tell, Purity- that's literally what a daisy symbolizes. Suits Chazz pretty well, huh? Or at least sorta? A little? The loyal love part does at least!

Yeah… there's no excuse as to why this took so long. The beginning was the hard part but after that was done, the rest just wrote itself. And for anyone who was doubting out there, tol'ja there was a plot!


	9. In Which Nothing Gets Accomplished

-- Start

Don't own, if we did Haou would've had more screentime.

-- Start! --

"Okay, listen up! Since it's our arguing, beating each other up, turning each other evil, and fangirlizing that got us into this mess, we'll just have to do what the Mansion wants us to do and settle our differences!" announced CB, "Angel and I have arranged groups who will spend the day together, trying to become friends! You can interact with other groups but you have to stay with your partner at all times!"

"Hey, we do you get to decide our fates like this? You're not even in this series, either of you!" demanded Bastion.

"Because we're fangirl self-inserts, we possess powers beyond your imagination." Without another word, she walked off with Crowler to wallow in the other groups' misery and Angel went off with Boneparte.

"What a blooming disaster! The bloody tart...," Bastion muttered as he looked at who he was grouped with. An entire day of talking to Jaden! Besides, they were already friends! Why did _he_ have to put up with his idiocy?

"Someone got blood all over a perfectly good tart?" asked Jaden, popping up behind him.

"No! Don't you know any proper English? It's TART! TART! Ugh, never mind, you'll never get it," he moaned in frustration.

"…So are you saying that CB is a tart?"

Bastion looked up with huge, shining eyes. "Yes! You finally get it!" he cheered.

"So does that mean you think she's good enough to eat?" Jaden wondered. In his mind he was picturing her skipping around a pie dish with a strawberry on her head.

"O.o" was the one comment of Bastion.

"Having fun boys?" CB asked.

"See here! I demand a change of partners!" cried Bastion.

"And why's that? The whole point is to stick around with someone you have trouble getting along with."

"But I have no trouble with Jaden! We've been friends for years now, I can handle him! I need someone who I'd truly have a difficult time putting up with!" he argued.

"I dunno, it seems like you're a little too eager to me…," she grumbled. Jaden sweatdropped as they continued to argue.

"Isn't this what this program was supposed to help stop?" he said to no one in particular.

"Stop making a mockery of me!" The roar came from E.J, directed at Syrus. It was enough to make everyone in the room grow silent.

"Stop talking like you're so elite!" he yelled back.

"C'mon guys, calm down!" Jaden urged, "We're all friends so we should try to get along!"

"As long as this… this… monstrosity still exists, I cannot rest!" E.J. declared.

"If by 'monstrosity' you mean slang, no matter what you do it will always exist! You got that, _bro?!"_ Poor Syrus was at wits end trying to deal with our favorite fisherman.

"Okay, enough of this nonsense. I'm going to England!" he decided, "There I will find NO SLANG!!"

"Ah, England. With the biscuits and the crumpets and the jolly good old chaps...," Bastion reminisced. A dreamy look came into his eyes.

"Um, excuse me?"

"And that delightful spot of tea in the afternoon. Oh, how I do miss England!" he sighed.

"Never mind," E.J. snorted in disgust, "The slang is even WORSE there!"

"Great Scott! How could you say such a thing? Why, that wasn't even slang at all!" he exclaimed, shocked.

"He just hates dialects," Angel explained.

"A-anyways, whaddaya say we go and chill now?" suggested Syrus nervously.

"With crumpets?" Bastion asked hopefully.

"As many as the Chef-dude is willing to cook!" promised Angel.

"This will be so much fun!" laughed Bastion.

"That's what she wants you to think! But deep inside, no matter how happy a person seems, their soul is controlled by a consuming darkness that-"

"SHUT UP!" The rant was cut short after Angel's shout.

"I knew it. Everybody hates me. It's b/c of what I did, isn't it?" E.J. whimpered, crawling into a corner and sobbing.

"Oo" murmured Angel. Then suddenly a great change came over the fisherman duelist. He jumped up _smiling_ and snapped his fingers.

"I know!" he giggled joyfully, "Duel spirits always seem to have proper grammer! I'll go speak to them instead!" And off he ran to find some duel spirits, completely forgetting that he had his own.

"…Still up for those crumpets?" asked Angel. Everyone nodded and headed for the kitchen.

-- E.J. and the Crystal Beasts --

"HEY, everybody!" he called, "How are you!"

"Holy Toleto, is that E.J? Being social?" exclaimed Cobalt Eagle. E.J's eye twitched at what he interpreted as slang.

"This is the find of the century, gents!" proclaimed Sapphire Pegasus. A curl of the fist was the only reaction to this comment.

Amber Mammoth spotted E.J's reaction. "With the way this is going I'm getting out of here before it gets ugly! Hasta la vista baby!" And with that he ran away. Our poor, angered, fish-loving friend began to shake.

"I don't see why he's leaving. E.J. has already proven to be purrfectly harmless," Amethyst Cat purred.

"THAT. IS. IT!" E.J. ran off to find refuge from the slang-alicious beasts.

"Hey guys, what's up?" asked Jesse, coming back from his bathroom break. Jebel had been forced to change him back, due to the situation with the mansion. After that, they'd been made partners. Or so they were supposed to be. Jebel had wandered off awhile back to go torture some kittens and hadn't been seen since.

-- Jebel --

"Aww, that's right sweetie, I'm not gonna hurt you," he cooed to an adorable calico kitten with enormous eyes. "I could never hurt you…." The kitten purred and buried its face into his lap. Jebel petted it and petted it, until the other four kittens got jealous and started vying for his attention. He cuddled them all and sighed contentedly. He loved his room. It was far enough away from all the others so that know one would know of his secret love for cats yet close enough that he could spread misery whenever the mood overcame him. And best of all, he got away from all those annoying people he was supposed to be befriending!

-- In the Kitchen --

E.J. angrily stomped into the kitchen, muttering about grammar and adjectives. The other inhabitants of the room watched as he plopped down into a chair and began petting and sobbing over his fishing rod.

"So… I take it your attempt to find the perfect speech failed?" asked Bastion tentatively, "I'll take that as a yes…," he said in reply to the mighty glare sent in his direction.

"…Give me a crumpet," he commanded mournfully. Even his lovely fishing rod couldn't help him now!

Bastion gasped as he realized what E.J. just said. Suddenly he knew! Knew how to change him so he no longer felt so depressed! "Brilliant idea! I'll make the blooming old chap realize just how emo he is over some lovely crumpets and tea!"

"Quit speaking in such an awful manner!" snapped E.J.

"But E.J, this is how English was meant to be spoken!" Syrus cried.

"Is… that… so?" E.J. said seriously before inspiration struck, "That's it! I'm moving away! I'll create a country where only people who speak correctly, like me, are allowed to stay!"

"That's great and all but how are you going to leave?" Jaden sweatdropped.

"Wha?"

"We're all trapped in the GX Mansion! We can't leave! You've tried already, remember?" Jaden sighed.

"That was before! This time will be different!" spluttered E.J.

"Oh really? Don't you realize that about 5 seconds ago you actually used slang?" Jaden teased.

"I did no such thing! I-"

"-Said 'wha' instead of 'what'" He finished. E.J. fell crazily to the floor. He started shaking and soon, tears fell.

"I'm just too depressed to try anymore!" he sobbed, "Why should I go on?"

"Um..."

"I WILL DIE NOW!!" he declared as he grew even more OOC, attempting to strangle himself with his fishing rod. His wild thrashing on the floor made him bang into a table, knocking over all their tea and thus angering those had had been pleasantly drinking it beforehand.

"Stop this nonesense! Get back in-character! NOW," ordered Angel. E.J. sniffled pitifully before cleaning up the mess and hiding in a dark corner of the room. "I suck," he muttered with a sigh.

"Stop making me feel so sorry for you!" Angel cried, nearly in tears.

"See? I make people cry. I told you I sucked."

"Here, have a new fishing rod if it'll make you feel better," she offered, handing him said shiny new fishing rod. His eyes turned into hearts as they beheld his one true love (besides Honest.)

"Sweet!" he yelled joyously, "Er, I mean...thank you…."

Angel gasped. "HE HAD A JADEN MOMENT! EAHAHAHAHEAHAHAHA!" The angered look on E.J.'s face only convinced her to continue screaming nonsense.

"Hey, wait a sec…," started Syrus in realization, "Was this whole chapter a piece of filler about slang?"

-- End Chapter --


End file.
